What is a "Lifestyle Expert" Anyway?

I was watching the Today Show post-shower this morning. As I was brushing my teeth a few "experts" came on the show to discuss holiday stress and how to cope "through the holidays." There is so much buzzing through my head about how the talk show circuit is defining the cultural currency of notions of the good, but for now, I will focus on how strange all of this really is. The thought that will follow maybe later on is the degree to which the notion of "lifestyle expert" is one who defines what beauty and goodness are for us. You can let that simmer like that fine chili you are planning on making over the holidays…

Here is a piece from the Today Show on how to write a thank you note. What? Are you kidding me? We need a lifestyle expert to tell us the best way to write a note to thank someone? Are we that moronic and selfish? If this does not contribute to your own holiday depression, then nothing probably does. But I guess I need to read the article to figure out how to thank the writer of the article for helping me come to this realization.

Here is another gem of the obvious on how to deal with stress. I have a better answer. Don't be selfish and don't let those who are get to you. Don't be such a slave to the image industry as some once-removed version of a Desperate Housewife, and yes…stop being selfish. No selfishness, no stress. Can't get any simpler. This would mean the following: no parental guilt trips, no disappointments if you don't get the stuff you want, no sadness if you screw up that ham and have to toss a frozen pizza in the oven for all of your friends, etc. … Just a lot of good quality time growing in our relationships with one another. But since we like being selfish, we need the experts! Take that baby Jesus!

Are we this blind to reality that we need people who don't know us to tell us how we need to behave to feel better about ourselves? This is probably the first shot over the bow in a series of comments on Holiday banality. But for now, just remember this: the Greek word for sin literally means "off the mark". If this is any indicator that we as a culture are off the mark when it comes to how we understand what the good life is, boy are we in for a treat as we get closer to the day of reckoning we call X-Mas.

So who are these people who are experts in the good life? Where do they come from? Where does one get an education in lifestyle anyway? What does it even mean? Here are some other ideas for experts in absurdity (feel free to offer your own ideas of stupid but apparently lucrative careers on the talk show circuit):

• Having issues with your socks today? We now bring in Joseph Proudfoot, color expert, to give us tips on matching blue and black socks on dark mornings!
• Having questions about that snow outside? Here is Jimmy Burlington, coat expert and long time coat wearer, with advice on how to bundle up!
• Want to know the best tasting cookie? Here is Doris Fields, authority on sweet treats to tell you what to eat!
• Tired of thinking? Here is our resident thought expert Sadaam Robertson to do some thinking for you!
• Want to smell better smells this season? Our scent expert Eternity de Toilette is here to tell us how and where to find them!

Happy Sparkle Season!

No related posts.