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Three Imagined Conversations Between Jack van Impe and His Wife Rexella

Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 12:54 pm Posted in Blogs I Read, Humor, Stupid Religion

Many friends of mine remember that I have a strange fascination with all things Jack Van Impe. I read this bit just now and cracked up. Not only becuase of its absurdity, but because I can really see it happening (Ezekiel 1.22-2.4)! Although Scott needs to include my other “pal” Peter Popoff in the contest. Maybe he’ll make the cut in “Preacher Bowl II”?

Jack: Honey could you please pass the bread, First Chronicles 23:9, Psalm 14:4, Mark 14:20

Rexella: Oh, Jack

Jack: Looks like it will be a nice day today, Matthew 16:2-3, James 1:11

Rexella: Yes jack

Jack: Could I get the milk please? Luke 4:4, Job 29:6, proverbs 27:27

Rexella: Ohhhh Jack

Jack: … and because of that Scripture verse it is clear that 1 million people will die

Rexella: Isn’t God wonderful?

Jack: And not just die, but be tortured horribly

Rexella: Ooohhh Jack, Jesus is beautiful

Jack: And not just a million people but their children too

Rexella: All the time God is good

Jack: and their pets

Rexella: Amen Jack!

Jack: Let’s go to the bedroom, Mark 10:7

Rexella: Um… Jack? It sort of ruins the mood when you do that.

Jack: My mood could never be ruined by you, Proverbs 5:19, Song of Solomon 1:16

Rexella: Seriously, if you keep up the Scripture thing I’m not going upstairs

Jack: You have to go upstairs, 1 Peter 3:1-2, Ephesians 5:22

Rexella: Seriously Jack stop now

Jack: I can’t, Luke 19:40, Deuteronomy 6:6

Rexella: You’re sleeping alone tonight

Worst Preacher Ever: Van Impe vs White « Scotteriology.

He’s coming soon and, isn’t it so exciting (Judith 10:18)?

Viewing 8 Comments

Scott 3 months ago 1 point
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Obviously, I have the same strange fascination. I can't stop watching this guys show. It's sort of a combination between my fingers being paralyzed on the remote from cognitive dissonance ("did he really just say that?") to the experience of watching a car crash.

Then there's Rexella. One of the greatest JVI moments of all time is on Youtube. Rexella absolutely slaughters Were You There and when the cameras come back to Jack he is weeping and trying to talk:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWM5T4fgaB0

I saw this show when it originally aired. I was crying too, but from laughter, and from then on I have been hooked.

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http://scotteriology.wordpress.com/

Drew Tatusko 3 months ago 1 point
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LOLOLOLOL!!! She kind of reminds me of Wing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxieTbKtqLc

Then there's always John Ashcroft: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MW2cPr0fQ7Y;

or the remix: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sMDG_bpBAk

:-)

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ptet 3 months ago 1 point
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I heart Rexella. Truly :)

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John Shuck 3 months ago 1 point
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My favorite program was the video they produced for you and your pet. Proof from the Bible that Fido will go to heaven. Only $19.95. Oh, Jack, I am so happy won't send Foofoo to that nasty hell.

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http://www.shuckandjive.blogspot.com

John Shuck 3 months ago 1 point
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That is fabulous. Believe it or not, Jack Van Impe criticized me on one of his programs back when "The Passion" was released. I did a review in the local paper. Someone sent it to him and he proceeded to call my theology into question. He snorted, "Where did this guy go to school?" I wish I could get find that program on-line, my claim to fame.

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Drew Tatusko 3 months ago 1 point
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I bow to you Rev. Shuck. The blessing of the Lord has been at your feet and a light to your ways :-)

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Alan 3 months ago 1 point
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I know nothing of Jack, Rexella or the verses quoted, but it is funny anyway!

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Drew Tatusko 3 months ago 1 point
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Alan, just check your local listings under "Paid Programming". It's awesome to behold!

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Jack Van Impe Parody « Scotteriology
September 13, 2008 at 8:31 pm

[...] unfortunately– is the truth with this video from Rock TV that parodies JVI . Methinks Drew will love [...]