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Three Imagined Conversations Between Jack van Impe and His Wife Rexella

Aug 19th, 2008
by Drew Tatusko.

Many friends of mine remember that I have a strange fascination with all things Jack Van Impe.  I read this bit just now and cracked up.  Not only becuase of its absurdity, but because I can really see it happening (Ezekiel 1.22-2.4)!  Although Scott needs to include my other "pal" Peter Popoff in the contest.  Maybe he'll make the cut in "Preacher Bowl II"?

  • Jack: Honey could you please pass the bread, First Chronicles 23:9, Psalm 14:4, Mark 14:20
  • Rexella: Oh, Jack
  • Jack: Looks like it will be a nice day today, Matthew 16:2-3, James 1:11
  • Rexella: Yes jack
  • Jack: Could I get the milk please? Luke 4:4, Job 29:6, proverbs 27:27
  • Rexella: Ohhhh Jack
  • Jack: … and because of that Scripture verse it is clear that 1 million people will die
  • Rexella: Isn’t God wonderful?
  • Jack: And not just die, but be tortured horribly
  • Rexella: Ooohhh Jack, Jesus is beautiful
  • Jack: And not just a million people but their children too
  • Rexella: All the time God is good
  • Jack: and their pets
  • Rexella: Amen Jack!
  • Jack: Let’s go to the bedroom, Mark 10:7
  • Rexella: Um… Jack? It sort of ruins the mood when you do that.
  • Jack: My mood could never be ruined by you, Proverbs 5:19, Song of Solomon 1:16
  • Rexella: Seriously, if you keep up the Scripture thing I’m not going upstairs
  • Jack: You have to go upstairs, 1 Peter 3:1-2, Ephesians 5:22
  • Rexella: Seriously Jack stop now
  • Jack: I can’t, Luke 19:40, Deuteronomy 6:6
  • Rexella: You’re sleeping alone tonight

Worst Preacher Ever: Van Impe vs White « Scotteriology.

He's coming soon and, isn't it so exciting (Judith 10:18)?

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Posted in: Blogs I Read, Humor, Stupid Religion.

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  • Obviously, I have the same strange fascination. I can't stop watching this guys show. It's sort of a combination between my fingers being paralyzed on the remote from cognitive dissonance ("did he really just say that?") to the experience of watching a car crash.

    Then there's Rexella. One of the greatest JVI moments of all time is on Youtube. Rexella absolutely slaughters Were You There and when the cameras come back to Jack he is weeping and trying to talk:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWM5T4fgaB0

    I saw this show when it originally aired. I was crying too, but from laughter, and from then on I have been hooked.
  • LOLOLOLOL!!! She kind of reminds me of Wing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxieTbKtqLc

    Then there's always John Ashcroft: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MW2cPr0fQ7Y;

    or the remix: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sMDG_bpBAk

    :-)
  • I heart Rexella. Truly :)
  • My favorite program was the video they produced for you and your pet. Proof from the Bible that Fido will go to heaven. Only $19.95. Oh, Jack, I am so happy won't send Foofoo to that nasty hell.
  • That is fabulous. Believe it or not, Jack Van Impe criticized me on one of his programs back when "The Passion" was released. I did a review in the local paper. Someone sent it to him and he proceeded to call my theology into question. He snorted, "Where did this guy go to school?" I wish I could get find that program on-line, my claim to fame.
  • I bow to you Rev. Shuck. The blessing of the Lord has been at your feet and a light to your ways :-)
  • I know nothing of Jack, Rexella or the verses quoted, but it is funny anyway!
  • Alan, just check your local listings under "Paid Programming". It's awesome to behold!
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