More Rejected Children's Books

Remember the e-mail that went around about 10 years ago with rejected Little Golden Books titles?  I thought of some new ones but with appropriate catalog descriptions.

Sure to offend.  Enjoy!

Everyone's Prettier than Joanne

It's about a little girls' first day of school where all of the girls are prettier than she is.  The book will have a "self-esteem" mirror so that kids can also see how much better looking they are than Joanne too!

Father Joey's Special Secret Tree-house

Father Joey keeps cookies and fun games in his tree-house and wants you to come with him after school!  As kids read they learn respect and honor with lessons how to keep secrets from their parents and friends.

Gary's Imaginary Goiter

Gary is pretty popular.  Kids think that Gary is the funniest because he seems to talk to people who aren't there.  But Billy has a secret special friend attached to his neck!  Kids will learn with little Gary and his massive growth how they can fit in when they are different.

Daddy's Drinking Again

Daddy comes home late every day after a hard day at work.  When the kids want to play with him and make lots of noise, he starts to drink and gets angry.  Kids will have a riot as they learn how to leave their dad alone and escape "Mr. Snappy Stick"!

You Lost…Again?

You have heard the expression "Winning isn't everything…"  Well not in the town of Championburg!  Kids will learn that losing is bad and unacceptable as the Tyson family's 7 year old loses his soccer games.  When he misses that goal or doesn't kick hard enough or on target, mom and dad get upset, throw things, and yell at him in front of his friends.  There's nothing like the thrill of competition, and the fear of losing to motivate your child.  Let's get 'em champ!

One Time, God Loved Us

But the earthquake happened, so what's wrong now?  Kids will learn how to solve problems as little Jimmy tries to figure out why God doesn't love him or his family anymore.  From earthquakes to the onset of older sister Sara's venereal disease, Jimmy's got a whole world of science to explore as he tries to figure out why God has left his family for good!

What Kind of Switch is Uncle Mack Using?: A First Words Book

Take your early little talker through the world of what happens when you are bad.  Kids will learn how to behave as they learn worlds like belt, paddle, and cane!

Now Where Did I Leave My Pipe?: An Eye Spy Book

Follow Sally as she looks for her special pipe that makes her so happy!  After every page you find it, there is a big plate of nachos, cookies, cake, chips, Twinkies, soda pop, and a world of other treats to help that craving for goodies!

Johnny's Cool Hair-Lip

He can drink through a straw without opening his mouth and make cool sounds out of his nose.  In this special "See 'n' Sound" book kids will be able to press buttons to hear all of Johnny's cool sounds as well as hear Johnny sing songs like "All I Want for Christmas" and "Farmer in the Dell"!

Daddy's Night to Dress Up

You go girl!  In this humorous tale, your son or daughter will learn all about why daddy leaves home right after he puts the kids to bed.  Find out why daddy always leaves in a big sparkling sequined dress, high heels, with long hair and the prettiest make-up!  Bonus edition comes with a dress of kit for your son too!

Molly's Hair is Falling Out!

Oh no! Laugh with the kids at Molly as your kids will learn just how special they are.  The better looking your hair is, the more special you are.  If only Molly could be as happy as your kids…

No related posts.