I sometimes will walk around the house singing this line:

“And he kicks and he punches with his hands and his feet; with his hands and his feet he kicks and punches.”

My wife still does not get it.  Then again, there is nothing really to “get”.  But the fusion of cheesy 70’s themes with Chuck Norris, kung-fu, and late 1980’s hair metal is a bountiful fusion of fromage and strangeness that I find totally hilarious.  Enjoy the legend, the myth, the Young Chuck Norris…

The person who put this together not only got the best part of this disturbingly visceral post-apocalyptic film right, but got the heart and soul of Mogwai right as well.

A friend of mine once said that if he was in a plane that was going down, this song would be his soundtrack. If you dig bands like This Will Destroy You, Explosions in the Sky, Isis, Mono, etc. you need to listen to Mogwai who is the real original band in this newish “post-rock” genre.

Yes, it goes to 11.

Most of this goes back in time to the guys who basically invented the kind of playing we associate with rock music - with a few more recent players lumped in for good measure. This is kind of a chronological order. No one here is a “metal” drummer par excellance and no, neither Joey Joridson nor Lars Ulrich would make that list either.

• Hugh Grundy (The Zombies)
• Danny Seraphine (Chicago)
• Mitch Mitchell (The Jimi Hendrix Experience)
• John Bonham (Led Zeppelin)
• Keith Moon (The Who)
• Carl Palmer (ELP)
• Terry Bozzio (with Frank Zappa)
• Stewart Copeland (The Police)
• Neil Peart (Rush)
• Philip “Fish” Fisher (Fishbone; Wicked Wisdom)
• Tim “Herb” Alexander (Primus)

* Of other note, Ginger Baker (Cream - probably the most contentious one not in the above list, but who would you pull out?), Jimmy Chamberlain (Smashing Pumpkins), Matt Cameron (Soundgarden; Pearl Jam), Danny Carey (Tool - although he is so robotic and “stiff” sounding he tends to bore me), Steve Smith (Journey), Jeff Porcaro (Toto), Phil Collins (Genesis - seriously listen to his early work with the band), Josh Freese (A Perfect Circle, Tracy Bonham, NIN, and many others), Will Calhoun (Living Colour), Gavin Harrison (Porcupine Tree). Mike Portnoy was too busy stroking his ego at the time this list was produced.

Nick and Bryan have posted a list and so shall I. Only in the order I thought of ‘em.

Chris Cornell - No one can blend falsetto and head voice this way and still sound like a man.

Tom Johnston - More soul than Michael MacDonald and a better song-writer at that.

Ann Wilson - Apparently estrogen has no place in the other lists. I watched Fergie try to pull off “Barricuda”. Not bad, but not a Wilson sister either, which means not all that great. Then there’s what Ann does in a song like “Crazy on You”.

Robert Plant - Even with Alison Krauss he is fantastic.

Cheryl Crow - Ask any woman with American Idol chops to pull of “If It Makes You Happy”. You won’t find too many of ‘em I tell ya.

Roger Daltrey - Not “Daughtry” not even close.

Scott Weiland - Yes he’s a coke head and his movements on stage just copy Steve Tyler and Mick Jagger. But his tone on the song “Atlanta” is fantastic and he shows off his melodic range.

Doug Pinnick - Haven’t heard of him have you? From King’s X and Poundhound. One phrase. Soul that hurts.

Geoff Tate - Queensryche was always on the edge of cheesy, but this boy had serious chops that any hairband dude could not really approach.

Corey Glover - Living Colour needed to make at least two more albums after Stain. That is still a bummer of a band break up for music fans.

* Extra props go to Freddie Mercury (I still don’t like Queen all that much), Bruce Dickinson (One reason many cover bands can’t cover Maiden songs), Pat Benetar (Does she have good pipes), Janis Joplin (For changing the role of the woman in music), Dennis DeYoung (see Queen), Ronnie James Dio (Messed with Black Sabbath, but also created a lot of pretenders probably in a bad way), Steve Perry (Those solo albums were a mistake dude, but I still love you on Escape), Steven Tyler (”Dream On” is still amazing and reveals the effects of a hard rock ‘n roll lifestyle on the voice).

I played my last gig with my little band Parasomnia last night. I will be taking a hiatus from music in order to heal up more quickly from Lyme disease which I have been fighting since last July. My two sons are now full-tilt toddlers. I also must finish my dissertation work - it has been taking too long. Staying out until between 3 and 5 in the morning then waking up at 7 to deal with toddlers is not something I can do any longer.

It was fun. We played for four hours with only two short breaks. We rattled off about 40 tunes and skipped only a few off of our repertoire. The moment that kind of surprised a motorcycle gang that was there and actively requesting was when we went from Motorhead into Helmet, then dropped into Primus’ version of “Have a Cigar” straight into “Walk” by Pantera. We kicked the night off with a little “Sweet Emotion” and ended with Mudvayne’s “Happy”. I played well after having no practice at all for about six weeks. My hands are killing me today with more blisters than I can count - at least that’s what it feels like.

I have one more gig I am doing with them at a new club in Johnstown, PA this June so that they don’t have to cancel the date. I will probably pick up the sticks again in a year or so and will try to keep the chops in shape in the meantime. I’ll be back in the scene some day again!

Here is the logo I designed for the band.

The bluesy boys from England have lost a bit of their psychedelic coolness in recent years. Split the Difference starts off strong, but then wimps out. Despite a few really bright moments, How We Operate gets a little too mainstream adult contemporary at times. On Liquid Skin there is a rawness to it. A dirtiness that is balanced with the sense that Gomez toked up a little gange on the way tot the studio or enjoyed a hit of the peace pipe in between tracks. The production is raw and live sounding. It’s like you are hanging with these boys at the local pub, getting your hair and clothing doused in the thick smell of smoke over a dark warm beer. After this song, I am sure that you will want another round. This one is called “Blue Moon Rising”.

This is about as heavy as I get and still genuinely enjoy it. In fact, I really like this - a lot. Definitely not for everyone, except for maybe A Thinking Reed where you will find the only other real metal head and intentional Christian I have met. With that said, most of the general populace that frequents a blog such as this will simply think this track is cacophonous noise. Fine by me. I actually take naps to this kind of music if you can believe it!

Meshuggah’s previous two albums focused on the truly esoteric and avant-garde. Here they had seemed to generate a new genre of music that came to be known as “math-metal” due to their use of complex and often indecipherable poly-rhythms primarily in Chaosphere in 1998. I followed by 2006’s Catch 33 took that from to a new level. The former presented a few tracks combined into one long one. The latter took about 6 tracks and arbitrarily cut them up into 13. For Limewire music stealers, this had to be frustrating!

On obZen they go back to the form on Chaosphere, in terms of overall accessibility. However, they stay true to what they have done since then offering a mature sound. It is as if they have found their identity and are now presenting it to us in about as brutally cataclysmic form as they can muster. The music is simply mesmerizing. I am offering a track that I cannot stop playing. It is one of the more aggressive tracks on the album and clocks in at over 7 minutes.

Listen to the Allan Holdsworth-like chromaticism on the lead guitar lines (at about the 3:40 mark and then some). The eight string guitars combined with the dirty fuzzy bass and Tomas Haake’s perfect sounding Sonors (I play Sonors so I am a bit biased) are impeccably produced. This is the best material Meshuggah has produced in an album format to date. Just when you think it all sounds the same, Meshuggah rescues heavy music again. They cannot be mimicked by anyone.

So listen to Bleed if you dare…