Archive for the Real Heroes of the Day Category
Here’s to you, oh, bastion of coulrophobia.
You bring your clowny ways of Jesus into the hearts and minds of our elderly forever frightening them into vegetative states of heavenly bliss. Next time you break out your balloon of righteousness, your funny buttons of glory, over-sized shoes of faith, and funny car of salvation which runneth over with…more clowns…crack open a bible and humour us with the silliness of God.
As if Bananas was not enough, you send our funny bones of the Lord straight into the breast of God.
So here’s to you Mr. Christian Clown man. May we forever be forgiven by your funny bones.
Ok, so this is totally inappropriate, but sooo funny (in a really twisted, detective-cracking-a-joke-at-a-homicide-scene-to-cope kind of way) I had to share. At first I though it was a joke, then I realized that it was “real” and this guy is being sincere. ‘Nuff said. (Just don’t let kids watch or overhear…lots of bad language).
Why bother with the healing of Jesus when you can sell snake oil and have tea in your presidential suite at the Ritz?
We salute you Pastor Benny for selling spiritual delusion to countless millions of poor souls all over the planet. You take advantage of tax loopholes to cover up your lavish lifestyle, jet, cars, and crib like no one before. All in the name of Jesus. God bless you Benny…
So with a “Whooosh…shabba dabba doo…Jesus!” of spirituality over us, and in your pristine white suit, we eagerly await the crumbs from your champagne and caviar gold encrusted table of Christly majesty only Donald Trump, Hugh Hefner, and the Pope might envy.
OK, so maybe we envy the 22 inch rims on the Hummer just a little, and the pool, and the presidential suite, the jet might be nice once in a while too, oh, and the limo ride to work would be cool but only with the fresh Columbian coffee and fresh Jersey bagels with an ample schmear every morning, and the…
I thought I would start a new series here focusing on an icon of religious madness to be the designated “Real Hero of the Day”. Think of this as a sarcastic caricature of what John truly meant with the phrase “spirit of the Anti-Christ” in his Gospel. Recall Bud Light’s series of commercials “Real Men of Genius” to get the flavor. And now to our first award…
Today we salute you, the person who prays for the death of your enemies and accusers - even if you are accused of something totally illegal.
Why focus on the love of Jesus when you can stick with good ol’ Israelite justice! At least that’s what some Southern Baptists clearly believe. Why admit guilt for tax evasion when you can just pray for your accusers to die? It can only make the love of Jesus that much sweeter…
http://www.religionnewsblog.com/19044/wiley-s-drake
So crack open your Bible Rev. Wiley and pray that God gets medieval on some liberal ass soon to save your righteous ass from being a receptacle for Satan’s Serpents in a federal prison soon…
